This is my very latest effort on my novel. I decided that you all might want to give me some feedback on the opening of the story, or at least be a little curious about it. So, here it is:
It was bad enough the pack ran with all the old-fashioned traditions. Women were second class citizens to be given away by their fathers at whatever age their father chose. Nina knew it could be worse. If she were lower in the pack, there would be fewer prospects for mating. They had little choice. Only a rare few mated for love, if they were allowed to mate at all. The weakest wolves weren’t even given the option. Damnable old traditions. If her father thought making her alpha would keep him happy and comfortable, he was in for a rude awakening. Her father would not choose the man she would be forced to spend centuries with.
“You will do what I say or I will disinherit you.” He bellowed.
“Perfect. I’d rather be the world’s only lone female wolf than be mated and married to a dictator. How many years did it take for you to kill Mother‘s spirit? I will not be her! Ever!”
It sounded like bliss. She wouldn’t have her father’s demands and endless lessons or her mother‘s broken disregard. She would miss Kyra though. Nina felt guilty that she wouldn’t miss her sister. If they weren’t related by blood, they’d have nothing in common. Nina thought it had to do with her mother’s neglect. She guarded her heart and her sister did everything she could to get anyone to notice her.
Unfortunately, as the second daughter in a traditional pack, she was supposed to marry into another pack to tie packs together, so neither the boys or the men would focus on her. She did have girlfriends though. Lots of girlfriends who always “dropped by” to see Nina instead. She was the one who would have the power. She didn’t want any of it. She would leave without regret and she let it show in her eyes. Who needed an inheritance in trade for centuries with the wrong man. Little body cues made sense to wolves her father would understand. She didn’t bow to him or to anyone.
Unusually, the Alpha‘s voice softened. “It was over a century before she became as you know her to be.”
“Why father, what broke her? Why can’t she love her own daughters? She is barely alive. Is that really what you want for me, father? She is miserable. Did she not want a mating either? Didn’t she want children? Was she sad she didn’t give you boys? She takes no pleasure in pack runs. She doesn’t even spend them with us. She goes off alone. Are you a monster as a mate or did her father choose the wrong alpha for her? I know alphas aren’t supposed to make mistakes, but mother is proof that they do.”
She went past pushing him a while back but it seemed to be necessary. Maybe he was blind where her mother was concerned. Couldn’t he see her pain? Did he care? How could her mother be fixed?
“You will challenge your mate, child”
Nina’s dry laugh echoed through the musty study. “Not if he is dead. Remember, you taught me to fight, and I fight well.”
Her father sighed. Even he had to realize he was loosing. She would leave before he picked her mate for her. They lived too long to be trapped in a miserable mating. Maybe her father was miserable too. Was that the problem?
“It is time for me to retire and past time for you to have a mating arrangement. You are soon to be alpha. Devise a compromise to satisfy us both.”
“Father, I am barely seventeen, hardly getting old enough to have a mating contract. If I’d been allowed to go to high school I wouldn’t have even graduated yet.” She had wanted to go to school, be normal, have homework, group projects, and papers to write. It seemed like a sort of peace to her, the normal worries of a teenager. She would never be normal. It was never to be.
That’s it, the first scene. What do you think? Did it grab your attention?